So April is National Poetry Month, at least in the US. I’ve been meaning to write a poem sooner but better late than never, right?
Weary faces gaze,
Full of life and yet, lifeless;
Silent, just like me.
Not sure if grammar is correct. I really like it though. School starts tomorrow. Can’t think right now. Need sleep.
“We’re all looking for something. and as hard as we look, things that hit us the hardest are the things that we’re not looking for. So when something finds you that you feel passionate about, whether it’s a person, whether it’s an activity, whether it’s an idea. Explore it. Go after it. Don’t be afraid. Be brave. YOU ARE BRAVE. And go after it ok?” – Jackson, Bajheera
This video always inspires and motivates me when I’m at a low point in my life. There are a few topics discussed that I wish to write about in more detail in future posts i.e. religion, life (the search) and love/relationships. For now, I need sleep. In any event, I hope you guys got something out of this post. More updates on my personal life coming soon… for those interested anyway. Until next time,
I am excited beyond words. My whole life has been leading up to this moment…
(I didn’t make this, I’m just spreading the word!)
I want to write a short tribute to a great pioneer and lover of Hip Hop, Nujabes. I wish I had the chance to discover your music while you were still alive. The passion and love you put into each and every one of your songs is infinite and inspiring to the ears of those fortunate enough to discover and appreciate your musical genius. You are one in a million, and though you have left this world, your legacy will never die. Your soul lives on in my heart and memory. Thank you sincerely. Rest in Peace.
“If you haven’t heard Nujabes, I feel sorry for your soul.”
“I feel very spiritually ignorant. My understanding is so microscopic in the overall scheme of things that the best thing I can do in this lifetime is accept everything that happens and deal with it as it comes. To me, it’s more about what I do along the way than what I’m searching for.” – Anthony Kiedis
This post might end up being very long, and it might not make much sense either. It’s about 11:30 PM; I have school tomorrow, a metric tonne of homework I haven’t completed and frankly, my mind isn’t dealing too well with life at the moment. You’ll also notice that I am spelling words the British/Australian way. Deal with it.
So as the title says, I am on my tenth day of TSW. By the way, if you don’t already know, TSW is a skin condition, also known as Red Skin Syndrome. Google it or something for more information. I’ll give you guys some sort of background and context of my life though. As much as I would like to consider myself “fully sick” and a Chigga (an Asian influenced by urban hip-hop culture), I am, unfortunately, fully sick, in the most literal sense of the phrase. I practically grew up sneezing, coughing and scratching twenty four seven, three sixty five. I’ve had more illnesses than I care to remember and it’s only become worse with time. I’m 16 years old now. My immune system is virtually non existent and my eczema has become something much deadlier, in the form of Red Skin Syndrome. To put it crudely: my life fucking sucks. I’m not one to complain though. I feel very blessed to be living and to have some close friends and family who love me (no homo), although I think it’s safe to say that none of them understand the pain I go through everyday. At school, I keep my skin out of sight; God forbid someone see me in a short sleeve shirt, and bombard me with questions about my skin. Yes, I’m feeling fine, thank you very much. No, there is nothing wrong with me apart from the fact that I was cursed with the burden of living with a malignant skin disease. And at home? Well, my mum doesn’t really understand the concept of RSS. It’s hard to communicate what RSS is to her because her English is mediocre, and I am only semi-fluent when it comes to speaking her native language. In the end, I told her everything will be fine and dandy in three years time. Hopefully.
That’s my life story in relation to TSW. It affects me socially, mentally, emotionally and physically. It affects my school life. It affects every aspect of my life. Every second. Every minute. Everyday. There’s no escaping these demons that haunt me. The only cure? Time. Experts say that, eventually, it will go away on its own. Maybe in six months. Maybe three years. So I wait. And I scratch. Tick, tock. Scritch, scratch. Oops, I’m bleeding. Welcome to my life. It may sound melodramatic and overly exaggerated, but this is me. I’m not jealous of kids with wealth, perfect skin and their whole life set for them. I don’t want to sound cheesy, but this is who I am. I’ve been through enough trauma and bullshit to last me a lifetime, but I know there will be a million more obstacles waiting. RSS sucks (understatement of the millenium), but I wouldn’t trade away my friends, family and lifestyle just to get rid of it, because like everything else, it’ll fade with time. It’s shaped me into the person I am, and at the risk of contradicting myself, I’m kind of glad I have RSS. It makes you realise that life isn’t something to take for granted, and that every day is another day closer to death. You never know when your life will end.
Time is precious. Don’t let trivial things get to you. They don’t matter. Live life to the fullest. There will be better days, I promise you. Set aside your hate and anger. Time is precious. You want to know the worst feeling in the world (subject to opinion)? Regret. Having regrets. Regretting something. So start living. Seize the day. Carpe diem.
And so… it is through these philosophical thoughts and epiphanies that have allowed me to discover the holiest of Zen ways: the art of giving a whole lot less of a fuck. With that said, I officially and cordially welcome you to my blog, and my first serious/philosophical post. I hope I have enlightened or entertained you in some way. More to come.
“I am fresh off the bus, now I got a world to run” – Chiddy Bang
The title and design of my blog are inspired by the phenomenal Chiddy Bang. If you haven’t heard of them, I highly recommend checking them out.
More posts to come. Stick around.
And if you don’t know, now you know.
Last year, I started a blog and it was, for a while, a good way for me to express the many thoughts and theories of life and other things inside my head. I’m not sure what made me stop – probably lack of motivation – but some recent events in my life have inspired me to open another blog.
I will also be documenting my journey as a teenage boy living with TSW: the ups, the downs, and the really, really bad days, which usually involves me turning into a quasi-red hot chili pepper. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my infinite love for puns and wordplay.
So stay tuned for some (hopefully) awesome blog posts; some funky, some depressing, and some deep. My mind is an endless stretch of creativity, imagination and philosophy, and I wish to share it with you. Cheers.